← Vacation in an Infinite Time Loop

[ifurlparam param=”Family” is=”Ejected”]You ask the attendant why this hotel harbors dangerous criminals. Then you tell the story of the pregnant single mother bank robber and her gun-toting toddlers with a straight face. The attendant believes you wholeheartedly and puts on a pair of shades. He goes back to the mother and attempts to citizens arrest her by subduing her arms with a beach towel. The woman punches him in the gut so hard he doubles over. The family is escorted out of the pool by an army of lifeguards. You golf clap for the scene, like you always do.

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[ifurlparam param=”Family” is=”Mutant”]You ask the attendant why this hotel allows mutant cyborgs as guests. When you explain that the family are rejected test subjects from Tesla’s secret laboratory to turn humans into cars, and you’ve seen photos of them dwelling in the sewers on the run from the shadow government, the attendant gives you this baffled expression. He doesn’t know what to do with that! You shout at him to do his own research when he goes back to kicking out the family. One of these centuries, you’ll figure out how to get the attendant to believe your conspiracy bullshit.

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