You Are The President’s Cat

You are the official cat of the president of the United States of America, also known as “COTUS.” Today’s agenda: 

✓ Prancing around the White House hallways like you own the place.

✓ Rubbing your entire body against the legs of all the humans in the press briefing room.

✓ Biting and shredding proposed legislation.

It is the late afternoon. You are perched on top of a big leather chair in the Oval Office, peering out the windows for delicious and/or threatening birds. In the distance, you see a menacing bird, but it doesn’t look exactly like a bird. Yes, it flies, but it flies too fast and looks inorganic, more like a car. Whatever it is, this thing is flying towards the Oval Office and fast!

The humans sit on the sofas in the middle of the room, speaking to each other in their ludicrously complex human language. Next to you on the chair is a big red button sitting atop the big wooden desk. Every time you hop on the desk, the humans get very upset with you. If you get on that desk one more time, you risk impeachment. But if the bird hits your window, it’s going to be bad. Maybe the button can stop the bird?

What will you do? (Click a link below.)

• Make a “mrap!” sound until someone notices you.
• Ignore the menacing bird and catch up on sleep.

If you want to hop on the desk and push the red button…

Start with the number 3. Add 1 for every cat you own. Subtract 1 for every dog you own.

• If you have a 4 or above, click here.
• If you have a 3, click here.
• If you have a 2 or below, click here.