Train Your First Space Wizard
You are an energetic, tentacled blue trainer at StarPumpers Gym and Wellness Casino. This is where young space warriors come to pump up, self-actualize, and grow into the best galactic heroes they can be – for only 80 credits per month (with 200 credit per year equipment destruction insurance and 3000 credit early cancellation fee – additional fees, taxes, and space tariffs may apply).
On your first day at StarPumpers, a young man with a bright red eye, jet black cloak, and nifty scar across his face strides through the gym. This is Stellar Artois, your new client. He flashes you a smooth, toothy smile.
“Can you turn me into a legendary space wizard?” Stellar asks.
“That depends on what you can do,” you reply, “and how much you’re willing to spend on anti-grav supplement powder.”
Stellar turns his back to you and raises his arms. The sunlit room turns crimson. Two dudes sparring with light swords drop them in horror as they spark and catch fire. A slot machine called Weight Winners spews credits. A smoothie cup erupts, covering the gym in glowing protein goo. Stellar lowers his arms and all returns to normal.
You look up at a sign on the wall that says, “We do not to train evil space wizards. Evil is strictly prohibited at StarPumpers.” Stellar turns to you expecting an answer, his red eye glowing.
What would you like to do?
If you would like to train Stellar Artois: What was your New Year’s Resolution this year?
- If it was about your health (ex. exercise, quit smoking), click here.
- If it was about your finances (ex. make more money), click here.
- If it was personal (ex. spend more time with family), click here.
- If you had a resolution, but it doesn’t fit into the above categories, click here.
- If you didn’t have a resolution this year, click here.