Set Sail on the Ghost Pirate Cruise

You were worried about taking a cruise right now, but you’ve got major Zoom fatigue and the Groupon said to “act now.” As you walk across the dock at midnight, up the retractable plank, and into the rickety wooden ship with cannons, you realize all your worries were justified. Yarrrr Cruises is staffed and run by ghost pirates on a phantom ship that appears in and out of existence to pillage unsuspecting vessels. Skeletons shake their sabres at you and wail like demons when you ask about the pizza station. You are less of a guest and more of a hostage.

On day four, you’ve had enough. You walk into Captain Smellbeard’s Quarters to complain about the lack of waterslides, bug-infested sleep hammocks, and terrible improv comedy. It’s broad daylight and the captain’s not in his quarters. (The ghost pirates only appear at night to drink, dance, and murder.) However, you do see a map of the world, an ink quill, and a cute little ship toy in your current position in the Bermuda Triangle. You decide to draw a dotted line on the map to change the ship’s course… and make your escape.

Where would you like to go?

• Florida Coast
• Fukuoka, Japan
• South of France
• Bregenz, Austria
• Puerto Rico
• “Occlaio”

Featuring guest endings by Elle Griffin, Mel Hattie, Jackie Dana, Mike V., Rachel Macaulay, and Ajinkya Goyal (Innocently Macabre).