The Galactic Menace congratulates you on completing your 8 week Death Laser Operations course at the University of Photons Online! To prove you have the technical knowledge, sound judgement, and boot-licking propensity necessary to become a Planet Destroyer on the Murdersphere Starship – capable of blowing up an entire homeworlds in seconds – complete this […]
Your Local Arcade, 1985 You wake up. Gum is stuck to one of your cheeks. Gross. In the reflection of the dark arcade monitor you see there’s sharpie marker all over your face. Your friends must have drawn all over your face when you’d passed out playing your favorite 1985 Arcade game! (You know the […]
You’re a washed-up psychic with nothing to lose. Well, except the last chance you’ll ever have for redemption, which just so happens to be the man sitting across from you here in the dingy back room of the Chili’s Bar & Grill outside Reno: Ronald Paddle, the very same critic who ruined your career 10 […]
You are a “business genius,” according to the editors at The Flatterer magazine. They don’t just put anyone’s face on the cover. You have to pay a lot of money for that! As you step into your brand new high-rise office with a panoramic view of the city and the title of CEO, you take a deep […]
Tonight you’re looking for love on Cyclops Island! You spend all day in your cave, only going outside to herd sheep. Have you ever tried to spoon with a sheep? They’re not amazing at it. Time to find a fellow giant for a life mate. On the wall is the magic mirror you massacred six […]
You are a car jacker with discerning taste. In your warehouse of stolen cars, you’ve “acquired” a Maserati, a hearse with a casket inside, and a large hot dog-shaped automobile. But you got a tip on “the dark web” (ooooh!) that the unusual, glowing car in the mad scientist’s driveway is a time machine, which would […]
This Christmas Eve is the humbuggiest. You’re at a crummy hotel bar during a freak snowstorm, worried you won’t get home to your family tomorrow. All flights are cancelled. There’s a lonely, portly Santa impersonator drinking a beer alone at the bar. You tell the bartender you’re picking up the tab for “Santa” this evening, […]
You wake up to find yourself surrounded by werewolves on the subway. Guess you fell asleep on the X-train during a full moon, which you were warned about no less than eleven times at the office today. When you awaken, you suddenly, accidentally kick a nearly empty bottle of urine across the car! Three werewolves […]
How to Play: To recover your DVD-VCR combo player, you need to figure out the Secret Word. Here’s how you do it… There are hints below to help you solve the puzzle. Good luck on these streets! Last night, some sick freak stole your combination DVD and VCR. How will you watch the goddamn Snorks now? You […]
You are a zombie with a belly full of brains. Well, technically speaking, your leaky stomach and ripped open belly allow those brains to slowly trickle down onto your legs. But you got a solid taste of the brains of the man who was waiting at the bus stop to outrun the zombie apocalypse. His […]
In your laboratory, you scream, “It’s alive!”As your monster party guests begin to arriveDr. Jekyll arrives with his new beau, Bat BoyThey bring Flayin’ Rot Cheetos and a case of La Croix Your castle is ready for a raging all-frighterThe Ecto Cooler is spiked with venomous spidersOn the record player, Cobra Lipa is hissingBut you […]
