You are a renegade martial arts master from the tough streets of Soft Meadows, an incorporated village near the ruthless city of Pillowsburgh. When your parents refused to pay the mafia protection money for their store, Little Ceramic Babies, they were kidnapped by mobsters. Luckily, you were upstairs in your makeshift dojo and teddy bear […]
Suddenly, you awaken to the clanking sound of your cell door opening. You’re an Athenian prisoner of war, captured by your Spartan enemies, so yeah. You’ve had better days. A Spartan soldier appears in front of you, ordering you to follow him. “So, am I to be freed?” you ask, naively. Spartan laughter – obnoxiously […]
This monster will reach the town if you don’t stop it right here, right now. You bravely leap head first at the giant, viscous cube before you, lunging at it with your Sword of Righteousness. As you do, you scream your signature battlecry: “This is a good ideaaaaaaa!” With a loud SPLAT, you find yourself […]
This is a friendly reminder that your Godbox is almost full. The universe contained in your Godbox has too many plants, clouds, needlepoint pillows, intelligent lifeforms, pomegranate seeds, pools of icy cool water on a summer’s day, ergonomic keyboards, mountains, suns, words ending in “-cation,” and bouncy castles. Something must go. Adding one more forest, […]
You type furiously on your keyboard. The green from the terminal screen fills your eyes. Mountain Goo – a carbonated, sludge-textured “super beverage” – fills your stomach. In just a few keystrokes, your hacker collective VirtuaDudes have decrypted all the passcodes for a secret government server. You enter a passcode into the waiting prompt: “S0n1cRul3z.” Instantly, […]
You are the official cat of the president of the United States of America, also known as “COTUS.” Today’s agenda: ✓ Prancing around the White House hallways like you own the place. ✓ Rubbing your entire body against the legs of all the humans in the press briefing room. ✓ Biting and shredding proposed legislation. […]
