You’re the Next Human Sacrifice

You’re watching the local news, waiting to see if your name will be called upon for human sacrifice, and you’re feeling very, very confident about your chances. After all, you sit at the cool kids table at lunch, you’ve been to second base at least twice, plus you can do an ollie and a pop shuvit. You’re not the kind of kid who gets fed to the Ruckus. You’re the kind of kid who lives a long, fun life as a brewmaster whose hobbies include hiking, beach photography and–

Oh shit, they just called your name on TV.

Run to Your Room and Lock the Door!