Warp Speed Makes You Nauseous!

You are the stressed out captain of the Starship Hiyabuddie. Your ship is under attack by tricky Zibblin assassins. They’re impossible to hit with laser cannon fire. The Zibblins and their ships are nearly two dimensional, so they can dodge fire and radar detection just by rotating to become extremely thin.

Zibblin fire is blasting your peacekeeping vessel! Your energy shields are deteriorating! Your oil paintings are jostling off the walls! And to make matters worse, your crew in the Helm Room are staring at you so expectantly.

“We need to engage warp speed,” the sparkly-haired Navigator Valezia respectfully screams. But lately warp speed has made you extremely nauseous. It didn’t always, but as you get older, something about going faster than light makes you want to blow space chunks. Protocol says that a captain who vomits in front of their crew must be publicly shamed, forced to walk around naked in front of both their crew and the Council of Creepy Elders. But if the ship gets blown up, that would mean no more life for you! Like, at all!

“CAPTAIN, THE CREW IS AWAITING YOUR COURAGEOUS, HEALTHY ORDERS,” exclaims printer droid HP-8720 in an urgent monotone.

What would you like to do?

• Keep firing!
• Abandon ship!

If you’d like to engage warp speed, how often do you experience motion sickness?

• Never or rarely ever.
• Regularly.
• Frequently! Ughhh!