Reconcile with Your Moleman Father

You are an adult mole child. Your sharp claw hands dig a fresh tunnel through the dirt ground, slicing worms in half by the hundreds. Their tortured worm screams ring in your ears as you finally enter the Tunnel of Crud, a mole expressway. The tunnel has many off-shoots, one of which ends in a small, sparsely furnished cave. There’s a seldom used stove, a stone slab bed, and a bookshelf of alternative history about Mole War II.

“Welcome home,” your mole father says with a deep scoff. He doesn’t look up from his book, Assassinating Molessolini. You ask how he knew you were coming. “I recognized the vibrations from your irregular digging technique. Afraid to get dirt under your claws? Is that frowned upon in the surface world?”

It took all of twenty seconds to regret your decision to come back to the tunnels, but your therapist believes you need to have an honest conversation with Groozler, your father, in order to make progress in your sessions. You run your tongue nervously around your big sharp teeth.

Click on (3) things you’d like to say to your moleman father.

You have 0 Mole Relationship Points. The more points you earn, the better this conversation will go.

• “Aren’t you happy to see me? It’s been 270 years.”
• “I’m doing really well in the surface-world, actually!”
• “Are you reading about the greatest mole war in history?”
• “There’s something I need to get off my furry chest…”
• “I can outdig you any day of the week, old mole.”
• “I brought you some freeze dried larvae.”
• “Why don’t you visit my surface-world condo?”
• “Is that broken stool comfortable for your hunched back?”
• “Ughhh. Do you want me to leave?”
• “Will you please look up from your fracking book?”