← You Are a Zombie Yelp Reviewer

[ifurlparam param=”Action” is=”Scream”]”ME SCREAM ‘BRAAAAAAAINS’ AT MAN, BECAUSE ME NO BEAT AROUND BUSH. ME WANT BRAINS, ME ASK FOR BRAINS. NO GIVE FALSE EXPECTATION.”[/ifurlparam][ifurlparam param=”Action” is=”Ask”]”ME ASK IF HE READ TO MAKE BRAIN BIG. MAN SURPRISED BY QUESTION, ME THINK, BUT ME VERY SMART. ME ONCE EAT BRAINS OF MAN WHO ME BELIEVE WAS BESTSELL AUTHOR MALCOLM GLADWELL!!!”[/ifurlparam][ifurlparam param=”Action” is=”Tell”]”ME BE TOUGH GUY AND SAY ‘NO RUN’ BECAUSE IF MAN RUN THEN HE TOO FAST AND ME NO GET BRAINS. INTIMIDATE BEST HOPE FOR BRAIN EATING. THAT AND ROADKILL.”[/ifurlparam] 

“MAN REVEAL GUN FROM COAT, TAKE FEW STEPS BACK, AND POINT AT ME. SAYS NO MOVE. DOES NOT WANT TO HURT. ME WANT HURT HIM THOUGH? ME STUMBLE AT HIM. HUNGRY FOR BRAINS, AFTER ALL. HE DOES CLICKY THING WITH GUN, SO WHAT ME DO?”

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Yummy”]

• “ME LUNGE AT HIM!”
• “ME SUGGEST COMPROMISE.”
• “ME BEG FOR BRAINS.”[/ifurlparam]

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Pedestrian”]

• “ME LUNGE AT HIM!”
• “ME SUGGEST COMPROMISE.”
• “ME BEG FOR BRAINS.”[/ifurlparam]

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Bad”]

• “ME LUNGE AT HIM!”
• “ME SUGGEST COMPROMISE.”
• “ME BEG FOR BRAINS.”[/ifurlparam]