← You’re Trapped in a ’90s Video Game

Oh no! You’re out of warps, which means you’re trapped in this ’90s video game!

[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Platformer”]

You’re destined to spend your days hopping on platforms and wearing silly animal suits to give you powers. In a few decades, who knows? You might be played by Chris Pratt!

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”FPS”]

You’re destined to spend your days shooting demonic hordes and spouting witty one-liners like, “You kill me? Hell to the no.” Oh, and good news: somehow you have an unlimited supply of stogies.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Fighter”]

You’re destined to spend your days traveling the world to beat up freakishly muscular super fighters. Now you can shoot energy balls from your hands! Perfect for destroying parked cars.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”FMV”]

You’re destined to spend your days in a world where you shoot live action people and they die like actors in a wild west stunt show at a c-grade theme park. But in a few decades, who knows? Maybe this world will evolve into a Netflix thing.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Adventure”]

You’re destined to spend your days in a world of puzzles ‘n puns, clicking on everything to see if it’s a something. One cool thing is that you can hold an inordinate number of items all at once. Funny, your pockets don’t look huge…

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”RPG”]

You’re destined to spend your days wandering around a forest on some kind of quest, fighting monsters with oddly translated names. Oh, and you’ve got the keys to an airship now. Ain’t no party like an airship party.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Racing”]

You’re destined to spend your days driving on an unregulated freeway, crashing into trucks, highway signs, and billboards for ARCADECO. (Is there only one company in this universe?) But now you drive a sweet convertible, and it doesn’t cost you a single quarter.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Sim”]

You’re destined to spend your days fussing over the endless options of an esoteric simulation. The good news is this world is only moderately educational.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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[ifurlparam param=”Game” is=”Shareware”]

You’re destined to spend your days in a world where you’re constantly hunting down and murdering Barney the dinosaur. For some in the 90s, this is truly the American dream.

Continue? If you forward the game to a friend, go back to where you were with 2 Lives. Otherwise…

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GAME OVER

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