← You Are a Zombie Yelp Reviewer

[ifurlparam param=”Food” is=”Breadsticks”]”BREADSTICKS LAST FOREVER. NO COULD GET TOO MANY. SAME WITH SALAD, BUT WHO CARE ABOUT SALAD LOLOLOL?!”[/ifurlparam][ifurlparam param=”Food” is=”Creme”]”CREME BRULEE SO LIGHT AND FLUFFY WITH PERFECT CRUNCH ON CARMELIZE SUGAR LAYER HOLD ON MUST WIPE BLOOD OFF PHONE TO TYPE.”[/ifurlparam][ifurlparam param=”Food” is=”Powder”]”NUTRIENT POWDER ONLY GOOD FOOD BECAUSE HEALTHY AND TASTE LIKE NOTHING. FOOD FUEL NOT FUN. FUN KILLING TEN HUMANS IN DAY AVERAGE ACCORDING TO FITBIT.”[/ifurlparam]

“SO ME STUMBLE AROUND LOOKING FOR BRAINS ON CORNER OF 8TH AND BLOODWAY WHEN SEE BRAIN MAN AT BUS STOP. HE HAVE NERVOUS ENERGY. LOOK AROUND LIKE HE NO WANT TO BE EATEN. AND HE HAVE GIANT HEAD. LOOK BIG AND JUICY. ME SNEAK UP BEHIND HIM AND…”

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Yummy”]

• “SCREAM ‘BRAAAAAAINS!'”
• “ASK IF HE READ TO MAKE BRAIN BIG.”
• “TELL HIM NO USE TO RUN.”[/ifurlparam]

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Pedestrian”]

• “SCREAM ‘BRAAAAAAINS!'”
• “ASK IF HE READ TO MAKE BRAIN BIG.”
• “TELL HIM NO USE TO RUN.”[/ifurlparam]

[ifurlparam param=”Review” is=”Bad”]

• “SCREAM ‘BRAAAAAAINS!'”
• “ASK IF HE READ TO MAKE BRAIN BIG.”
• “TELL HIM NO USE TO RUN.”[/ifurlparam]